Strong boy

Dear Mini-N,

Your daddy said something interesting yesterday when we were out in a bookstore. I was busy looking for books while daddy watched you play with another kid. Daddy said he was heart wrenched when he saw you rejected by another older boy whom you'd badly wanted to play with. The boy told you, "Go away! Go back!" and you looked so sad. Daddy's heart also twisted but daddy did not interfere.

In the car driving back later, I asked daddy why he didn't interfere. He said, "Mini-N must learn to fight back himself. If a boy beats him once, he must learn to stand up to his problems and not walk away. Boys just need to learn that they need to fend for themselves."

Daddy said all he did was to encourage you to stand up to the boy even though he's older and one head taller than you. Daddy said it in full view of the boy's parents and he didn't care. Daddy said, his heart was breaking inside seeing you rejected but as a boy, you just need to learn to fight for what you want and not give up.

I wonder what i would have done. As a mother, i might have just stepped in and asked the boy to play with you. In parenthood, there's always this inner turmoil where we ourselves don't know which is right or wrong. Daddy wants you to be tough. Mommy wants you to be tough and yet sensitive. And some of these decisions, no parenting books can ever teach us.