It's a BOY!!

Strong boy

2010-10-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

Your daddy said something interesting yesterday when we were out in a bookstore. I was busy looking for books while daddy watched you play with another kid. Daddy said he was heart wrenched when he saw you rejected by another older boy whom you'd badly wanted to play with. The boy told you, "Go away! Go back!" and you looked so sad. Daddy's heart also twisted but daddy did not interfere.

In the car driving back later, I asked daddy why he didn't interfere. He said, "Mini-N must learn to fight back himself. If a boy beats him once, he must learn to stand up to his problems and not walk away. Boys just need to learn that they need to fend for themselves."

Daddy said all he did was to encourage you to stand up to the boy even though he's older and one head taller than you. Daddy said it in full view of the boy's parents and he didn't care. Daddy said, his heart was breaking inside seeing you rejected but as a boy, you just need to learn to fight for what you want and not give up.

I wonder what i would have done. As a mother, i might have just stepped in and asked the boy to play with you. In parenthood, there's always this inner turmoil where we ourselves don't know which is right or wrong. Daddy wants you to be tough. Mommy wants you to be tough and yet sensitive. And some of these decisions, no parenting books can ever teach us.

Good night, my Little One...

2010-09-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

I always tell everyone that you are such a sweetheart when it comes to sleeping. You're 1 month away from 3 years old now but you still sleep in a baby cot. We have a nightly routine where we would read / flip through some books, we would sing some songs and you would drink your milk, then walk yourself to your own cot and climb in. Mommy then has the rest of the night to herself. You are such a darling most of the time.

Tonight however was one of those more difficult nights. You didn't want to sleep with me, you wanted to sleep with auntie (your nanny). You kicked and screamed when i brought you into the room. You screamed for about an hour and finally i gave in and let you go sleep with auntie. At nights like this, I would feel a bit depressed. I wonder if I've been neglecting you and you're bonding more with auntie than with me. I wonder if I'm being such a dull mom that you enjoy sleeping with auntie more than your own mommy.

To be honest, I do feel like the worst mom in the world. Daddy takes care of you on weekends so much better than I and auntie takes care of you on weekdays so much better than I. When i come home from work, i feel so guilty for hiding out in the room surfing the net, putting on a mask or taking a cat nap and not spending time with you. Yet i do secretly crave so much for those alone time everytime i come home from work.

You are sleeping with auntie now. so soundly. You were crying and screaming the whole time when you're in my room tonight refusing everything. You didn't want to drink milk, didn't want to read, didn't want me to switch off the lights.. But the moment i took you to auntie's room, you were such a good boy. Climbed straight into bed and finished all your milk and fell asleep.

I remember you slept with auntie until you were about 10 months old. I should be getting good night's sleep on those months but strangely, i woke up almost every night on those months, thinking that i heard you cry. I'd sit up in the middle of the night in bed and say, "Mini-N's crying!". I'd go over to auntie's room to check on you. Sometimes you would be fast asleep and sometimes you would be really crying. Auntie would be holding you in her arms already by then. I'd stay around until auntie shoos me back to my own room. Tomorrow is another working day.

When you finally slept next to me in your own cot, I still wake up at least twice a night to pull the sheets over you. I have a clock that also shows the temperature of the room. When it gets below 20 degrees, i put a thicker sheet over you and other times, the thinner sheet. Ofcourse there are nights when i was so tired that i slept through the night. When i wake up, I'd find you curled up like a ball with your buttocks pointing to the ceiling. It is so unbelievably cute.

Tonight, mummy will go back to her room and sleep by myself. A little sad to see the empty cot next to me. Good night, my little one. May we get to sleep together in the same room for many years to come.

After 2 weeks of School

2010-07-17T02:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

It's been about 2 weeks since you've started school. As expected, you caught some virus from your little friends and fell ill after 1 week of school. After 3 days of MIA, you're back in action again, stronger than before.

In total, you only cried for 5 whopping mornings when being sent to school. Either you're a really brave boy or home is so boring that you can't wait for an escapade. :-)

The day before you started school, your daddy said, "Tomorrow is D day! and it's going to horrible in the next to 2 months". Well, we expected you to kick and scream like a little girl resisting to go to school for at least 2 months. Daddy was listening to horror stories about this little boy who vomited at the gates of the school every morning for half a year before he settled in. But look at you, you were waving me off by the end of the 1st week of school. And when Saturday came, you said to daddy and i, "I want to go to koooooo (means school)" Well done, Mini-N.

And yesterday you even came back with an art piece! Now that is something to remember because it is your very first art piece. When we saw it, we shove it in your face and like all parents, we said, "Oh Mini-N, did you make this? It's sooooo nice!"

You looked like you didn't recognize the art piece at all. Hmmmm.. then daddy and i were amused into thinking that the school teacher probably guided you a bit 'too much' in the making of the art piece. We can just imagine you running helter skelter around the class not being bothered with whatever art time it is and the teacher had to probably do most of the art for you..

Daddy today told me, he feels a bit strange that you're now living a life that we don't know about in detail. Previously you're always at home. We know or we are able to find out at all times, what you did and how you did it and every detail of what you did. It's strange now that you're leading 1 part of your life away from us and the closest thing to finding out how you are in that part of your life is referring to your school timetable and calling the teacher (Auntie Usha).

1st day of School

2010-07-01T19:15:00.001-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

Some people say, sending a child to school is like breaking a child. He is born with his own personality, his own ways of living and his own inner sense of what life is about. Then we send him to school and we break through all those things in hope that he will one day conform to society. Just like Ladi Di needs to learn how to manage life as Your Highness in the royal palace. So Mini-N, you were introduced to society on the 1st of July, 2010.

Yesterday, 1st of July 2010, was your first day of school. I just want you to know that the most heart wrenching day of mama's life is also the same day. 1st of July 2010. The principal said it's best we do it tough rough. So she ordered a teacher to take you away to the class upstairs. I wanted to speak to you, to tell you that "Mama will come back, ok? Mama will come back for you! Then we can go home again and you can have ice cream."

But the principal interrupted to say, "Let the teacher take him away fast. It's better for the child."

How you were bawling all the way. You cried, "Mamaaaaa!!!! Auntieeeeee!!! Mama carry! Mama carry!"

All I wanted to do was to bawl as loud as you but the principal started on telling me about the registration and forms and all that. I could hardly concentrate. The principal took me into her office and started explaining about all the rules and regulations of this center and I was only half listening. The other half of me was trying very hard to listen out if you're still crying.

Auntie (your nanny) was running around wildly outside, also trying to find a spot if she can still hear your voice. I could see that Auntie probably also wanted to bawl as loud as you.

After all the long winded talk about school fees and holiday camps, the principal finally let me go upstairs to peep at you. You were standing there with your teacher, not wanting to participate in anything and gasping for breath with all that crying. Poor Mini-N. What have mama put you through?

When we picked you up 1 hour later, both Auntie and I was standing outside at the gates and it seemed to us like it took hours for them to fetch you and unlock all the 20 thousand locks. Poor Mini-N. You were still gasping for breath from the crying and looked a bit disoriented. I picked you up immediately, you were slightly limp and your entire body was cold. Poor Mini-N. Cried so much until you have no more energy.

We got into the car and i said, "Hey Mini-N. Now is time for ice cream!" Just like your mother, you litted up at the thought of food. The journey home was a short one and by the time we reached home, you already sang a whole song by repeating again and again, the word 'ice cream'. Yay! Mini-N is back! But.. but... tomorrow is another school day..

How You Have Grown

2008-04-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

These photos says it all...

The Power of the Voice

2008-03-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

Last night mommy decided to 'really' sing to you. As in REALLY sing. . Since you were born, I never thought of really singing to you. I always did some silly songs like, "I love youuuu, You love meeeeeeee, We are happy famileeee" or "Round and Round the Roudabout, Roundabout, Roundabout"...

Last night mommy had a bright idea so I put you on my bed and lied down next to you. Then i sang... I sang, "A dream is a wish your heart makes", the whole song a' la Cinderella style with a bit of falsetto and full set of expressions with slowly fading off effects...etc.. You gave me a very intensed expression while I sang like you were totally captured by my song. When i finished singing, you continued to stare for a second, then you bawled!! You cried so loud that the neighbours must have thought i kicked you or something.

I quickly shove a toy in your face and said, "Oh look at this, Mini-N, a squeeky toy! No more singing ok? No more singing. Only got squeeky toy!... " I desperately squeezed the toy to make squeeky sounds to distract you and when you wouldn't stop crying, I had to pick you up and walk around to comfort you.

Geee, this is the first time someone cried because of my singing and I thought I was good. No choice, I guess we're back to age old songs like, "Round and Round the Roundabout....."... Sigh...

Sexy Baby

2008-03-17T06:11:00.000-07:00

This is an older video i finally managed to extract from my video camera. Back to the times when Mini-N was still not too vocal but instead chose to express himself via other means of grunts and baring some chests...

Mini-N Tells a Story

2008-02-21T06:52:00.000-08:00

Riding on a Sailboat

2008-01-17T03:42:00.000-08:00

Dear Mini-N,

Sometimes when you won't sleep, daddy takes you out to sea in a sailboat.

The funniest thing is, you look completely bored each time... Mummy suggests next time we take you out in a fisherman's boat with the chug chug chug instead... That's not very dutch but ok, let's try that next time.

Superhero Powers

2007-12-27T23:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Mini-N,

Time truly flies. In a blink of an eye, you’re going to turn 2 months tomorrow. I have to apologize. In the first month of your life in this planet, mummy in her weak post labor state, spent most of her time pre-occupied with battling the great forces of the evil Confinement Watcher. The confinement watcher specializes in throwing threats and enforcing guilt while her core weapon is a bottomless bag of ginger. These battles with the Watcher are unique in the sense where each battle would end with a sweet victory shower and day after day, as mummy regains her strength, the Watcher loses hers. At the end of the month, the Watcher was banished from the house and was never to step foot into this continent again. Good riddance!

As for you my little one, your own powers have been taking shape as well. You are au naturel with your shape-shifting powers. In less than 2 months, you have transformed...

Mini-N, your powers are strong, your favourite disguise is in the form of a drunken man...Many grown ups can't even do that..

I can see you’ve also picked up some kungfu moves already, before mummy even had the time to pass on to you some of our 100 year old family kungfu secrets.

Mini-N, mummy is proud of you. And welcome to planet earth!

The Looks

2007-10-16T23:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

As the time approaches for you to join us in this household, many friends and relatives of mommy and daddy are getting more and more curious about how you'll look. Whether you'll have that famous western nose of your daddy or you'll have that famous oriental eyes of your mommy, that still remains to be a mystery. Then it also adds to the complications as you can see below.

Your daddy as a kid looked very much like a girl.

Your mommy as a kid looked very much like a dude.

Whatever it is, Mini-N, at the end of the day, we just want you to be healthy, and maybe also, to be a good baby who doesn't create havoc at home in your first few months. Have mercy, baby. We'll be seeing you soon, real soon.

Your New Home

2007-10-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

Last weekend, Dr. Tang told us she'd like to arrange for you to join us end of this month due to the fast growing size of your head. Now we really didn't expect to see you so early, we thought you'll be coming in mid November.. Now it looks like it's only going to be about 2 - 3 weeks before you come.

So mommy and daddy, overwhelmed and excited with the news, went home, stared at each other in awe for a while and suddenly got up to build your new home! Oh boy! Lots of things to do. Stuffs we bought for you are still in plastic bags with labels intact. New baby furnitures we bought are still in parts and pieces in paper boxes. The first thing we did was to build your crib. Look, Mini-N, do you like your new bed?

Then we went on with building the cabinet that will contain all your cute little shirts, blankets, toiletries, sheets..etc..etc.. Mommy was cutting off labels and packaging until she filled an entire dustbin.

By the way, cousin Halle came about last week on the 4th of October. Cute little thing she is with her serene smile and small frame at 2.8kg. When you come along end of the month, I'll put the two of you side by side and you'll grow up to be best friends for sure.

Take care my little Mini-N. Try to wake up during the day and sleep during the night like the rest of us. It's hard to sleep having someone kick me in the stomach all night long.

Your name...

2007-09-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

When we first thought you are a girl, we had names all ready for you. It was either going to be Annabelle or Allegra. Daddy wanted Annabelle, the perfect daddy girl's name and mommy wanted Allegra. You see, mommy has a real knack for superhero names. Allegra was the perfect name for any up and coming superhero. Maybe a hero that can move, run and dodge real fast!... We haven't come to a final agreement on which one to go with, daddy girl's name or superhero name when we found out you're actually a boy...

Then another battle begins... Julian, the perfect daddy boy's name or Tristan, another super hero name, maybe a hero that is smart, ultra-strong, handsome and all that.. Then playing in my own battlefield, daddy says Julian is a name of a character in Star Trek, some Dr Julian Bashir who's a genetically enhanced human. On top of that, opa and oma gently suggested that perhaps Julian is better... Gong gong and por por? Kinda tough to get support from.. When i say Julian, your por por said in hakka, "Wah sounds like Pearl necklace".. .

When i say Tristan, they say, "What? Twistan ah? hah? Twistan issit?" ...

Finally, daddy said there is no reason why we can't name you after a Star Trek character when mommy named herself after some lizard queen character from that 'V' series back in the 80s. So OK, Julian wins. Make sure you live up to your Star Trek character, baby. According to daddy, he's famous, good looking and smart.

I don't find him super hot but apparently most Trekkers do.

Then there's this final battle over the Chinese name. I'm sure you know your daddy's dutch, you mommy's semi-banana (don't read or write chinese but speaks 4 chinese dialects) and that makes you half dutch, half chinese. Given the circumstances, you'll be a bit more understanding if we don't give you THE MOST meaningful and beautiful Chinese name, right?

The Chinese name we've chosen for you, for sure your friends who don't know chinese, won't know what it means but the best part is, EVEN the ones who knows chinese, won't know what it means. That's because I've asked around, and nobody could tell me the meaning of the name. Some say, it doesn't mean anything, some say, it's a surname and some say, it means "Whispers of Cultural Art". Now the last one is rather fancy. If forced into a corner one day, I'll say just that as the meaning of your name. But frankly, the general conclusion is that your chinese name....has no meaning. Period. Don't feel bad about it because mommy's name in chinese can be intepreted as 'A Man's Will' and your Auntie Connie's name, 'A man's beauty'. So you see, it's not always great to have names with meanings too, you know.

But how in heavens did we come out with the name in the first place? Errr.. Ahhh.. Basically... it's the name of a character in the movie, 'Perhaps Love'. In the movie, he's a famous director called Nie-Wen. Mommy loves him.. Daddy doesn't love him but doesn't mind the name... Cos Nie Wen is a spin off from daddy's own Chinese name... Nie-Gou.. Nie-Wen... Nie-Gou...Nie-Wen...See the similarities?

So there you go, unless the Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara (National Registry) rejects your name because it is in some form seditious or something... If all goes smoothly, your name is going to be

Julian Nie-Wen (聂文) Walraven

PS: If anyone would like to appeal for Tristan or have a better suggestion of Chinese names, please raise your hands...

9 Months Privilege Club Membership

2007-08-27T22:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

Being pregnant with you is like having subscribed myself into a privilege club with conditions that I give myself up for some scientific experiments. As a club member, I get waited on hand and foot but in return, I have to have uncontrollable and sometimes unexpected weird things happening to my body which I’ve never experienced before.

In my first trimester of being pregnant with you, I expected morning sickness like most other pregnant women in their first trimesters. I didn’t have that but instead, I had to go off my favourite type of food. Meat. I was such a carnivor before I became pregnant but in my first trimester, I became almost vegetarian. The sight or smell of meat repelled me. So you know what, Mini-N, you better be eating all your greens when you are growing up because there must be some part in you that love vegetables since you turned your mommy all weird and all hating meat when she conceived you.

My second trimester marked the months of the asthma attacks. Who would expect my childhood asthma to come back with a vengeance in my 2nd trimester with my first child? The nights of wheezing and discomfort, the days of gasping desperately for air during short walks. And the most infamous and unforgettable, the night daddy used mosquito spray in the bedroom was the night mommy thought she was not going to make it. Her lungs almost completely shut down, her miracle inhaler and asthma pills didn’t work. Every intake of air was not enough, her heart was palpitating, the vein in her eyes became red, she started throwing up, and at the same time, she was just thriving and thriving for more air. Daddy sent mommy to the hospital crying, because she thought she was going to die. And if she didn’t die, she didn’t know what the lack of oxygen would do to you. Thank God she survived to tell the story today. The doctor sent her to a chest specialist and since then, she was put on a long term asthma control medication until you come to this world. Lack of oxygen is a serious problem for pregnant women. Oh yes, and not forgetting, morning sickness finally kicked in.

Having said all that, mommy have just entered her 3rd trimester with you. This week you are 28 weeks in your mommy’s womb and you weigh 1.4kg when you’re only suppose to be 1.2kg. Dr Tang says you’ll grow to be an 8 pounder at least when you’re born in November. Yes, you’re on your way to be that big baby you’ve always promised to be. With my asthma under control, I feel much better now although I am carrying a big load of something with me everywhere I go. Through the scan last Saturday, we saw a bit of your face and daddy said you look like me. When I told por por that, she said, “Oh no! Look like you! I was hoping he’ll look like the father.. Oh no! Oh no! Sat pai lor! Sat pai lor! (failed already)!”…. As you can see, your future grandparents are an honest bunch of people…

Meanwhile, life in the club besides having all these weird and unexpected things happening to my body, it also feels like having just signed up for membership in a privileged club. As a club member, I get

1) A box of freshly cut fruits to bring to work daily. The chef gets up early every morning to cut the fruits up to be put in a little container while mommy is showering and getting ready for work. Not a day has gone where the chef missed his delivery.

2) Mommy’s clothes getting mysteriously mended on their own. As you can see from the picture below, the mysterious tailor behind it is obviously not very skilled with his stitches. I wonder who that might be.

3) From time to time, I get Santa’s surprise gifts in manners just as mysterious as the clothes being mended by the secret tailor above.

4) On top of all that, I also get free white-male solo Indonesian dance and entertainment performances when my raging hormones get me down and depressed.. First moves similar to the one as pictured below.

5) And last but not least, I get also the free vocals that talks and sings to my belly every night. Apparently, he speaks in dutch because it is a father and son secret thingy.

Once he spoke in English, I saw him look at my breasts and then said to my belly, “It looks kinda small but I think there should be enough for you.”.

He then pauses as if listening to my belly and then said, “No, no, the milk doesn’t come in a chilled mug. She is saying you have to drink it from a bottle”

So there you go, something about mommy’s life in the club being pregnant with you. Today I asked daddy, what his priority will be once our baby is born? He said, “My priority will be to spend as much time with you and the baby. What is yours?”

To that I said, “Oh, lose weight and look pretty, ofcourse”… muahahahaaaa… You already know from here who’s going to be bathing and changing your diapers later on… And how all the other mothers will shake their heads seeing me say that.

Well, I INSIST on including the beauty package in the last part of my club membership. I was looking at the mirror this morning, I look like a real lard head now ok, I GOTTA have that beauty package at the end. Look at the size of that thing. And I am only on my 28th week!

Life Before You..

2007-07-22T03:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

When I started this blog, I told myself that I must write about how daddy and mommy lived our lives before you came around so that when you eventually read this 10 years down the road, you'll see how we have or have not changed over the years. I'm not sure actualy if I prefer us to have changed a lot over the years because life now is pretty fun in its own way. But maybe, just maybe, if we changed, we would make better parents because life now is like living in a big fat bachelor pit.

You see, mommy and daddy are not quite the cleaning type. So most of the time, the house is in a mess, laundry undone, dishes unwashed. We spent most of our times, downloading and watching lots of US TV series, and our favourites being "Desperate Housewives", "Lost", "24", "House" and "Heroes". We eat dinner in front of the TV most of the time watching one of these exciting series. If we didn't have an episode waiting for us downloaded into the X-box, we'll pop in a DVD. Occasionally mommy has a Chinese drama series to follow. For these, Daddy doesn't quite participate in watching but mommy always voluntarily re-tells the plot of the day's episode to daddy whether he wants to hear it or not.

We play lots of games on our game consoles. Mini-N, this is the era when the X-box and the Wii game console is in fashion while the Sony Playstation III is losing out. We have both of those high fashion consoles and there are a few games we play over and over again, such as "Zelda" and "Psychonauts". Although it's a good game, "Munch Odyssey" is a no-no in this home because it's an EX-ed game (meaning a game daddy played with his ex.. pooh! pooh!)...

We also play a lot of board games, the favourite being Monopoly and Rummikub. Mommy prefers Rummikub anyday because she losses to daddy with Monopoly 9 out of 10 games, mostly because your daddy's a BIG cheat. When it comes to Monopoly, you gotta be careful with your daddy, that sneaky one. Even your Opa had to resort to cheating to battle your dad the few times he was here in Malaysia. Mommy's a sore loser so most of the time, we avoid Monopoly and go with Rummikub instead.

Rummikub is a game introduced by your Opa and Oma when they were in Malaysia early this year. This will be a game you'll learn to play the moment you start to count. It's a game that definitely tests your intelligence and IQ. The first time Mommy played Rummikub with Opa and Oma, she was very worried about creating the wrong kind of impression (being dumb and slow) since she lost quite terribly to the old folks... so that night she quietly asked daddy to steal the board game into the room and kiasu-ly played all night long. When Opa and Oma went off for a short holiday, mommy also kiasu-ly forced daddy to play every night so that when Opa and Oma came back, mommy's as good at the game as everyone else.

Daddy and mommy still plays Rummikub at least once a week during bedtime and the worst side of ourselves come out when we're dueling away on the game. We hurl all sorts of insults at each other while playing, some of mommy's favorite lines being, "What do you know? You don't know anything!" and daddy's favourite insult being, "Take this! This is for you and your leprosy friends". Ofcourse, I don't have any leprosy friends but it's just a figure of speech/insult. We also call each other "bowling ball head, egg head, small penis...", basically anything you can imagine. It's not very good example for the young I know, so this side of us probably will have to be repressed when you come about. And not forgetting your dad has this chanting song that goes, "You are a loser.. A big fat loser"... He sings it in a very Enigmatic Gothic tune which he says has a power of making me lose the game if he sings it over and over again. Yeah, it drives me nuts sometimes so maybe that's how it makes me lose.

On weekends, since we're in a country like Malaysia where shopping is key, weekends are spent mostly in a shopping complex such as One Utama, The Curve or Midvalley. Most of the time, we watch a movie. We talk endlessly about how we should go outside and do some sports but we never seem to be able to drag our fat behinds out in the sun to do it. In this arena, Gong Gong and Po Po are much more successful. They go for a morning walk every morning without fail and on top of that, Gong Gong spends at least 2 hours at the driving range every day.

As for your mommmy and daddy the 2 young 'uns, we walk past the pool to get to our front door everyday and everytime, we have this partial longing and yet guilty look on our faces but we almost always manage to find an excuse on why we can't go out to the pool that day. There's someone else in the pool, the water's too cold, mommy's swimming suit is getting out of fashion... etc..

Once daddy made a new year resolution to swim for 30 mins everyday but unfortunately the resolution never lasted beyond mid-February. Mommy once dragged daddy to sign up for a gym nearby and unfortunately, we never made it to the gym more than twice before we finally canceled the membership a few months later.

Once in a while, mommy and daddy banters about something mommy call the great Passage Thru India mystery. Whether or not many years back when we were still dating, daddy secretly had dinner with his ex at Passage thru India while telling mommy that it was dinner with a friend. Ofcourse till today, mommy still highly suspects that the secret dinner took place and till today, daddy still denies it endlessly. Mini-N, I suspect you'll never hear the end of this.

Today for example, being a Sunday, we woke up at mid morning and sat in bed for close to an hour just talking about where we should have breakfast. Being pregnant and great and all that, Mommy usually has the final say. We dragged ourselves out of bed to a nearby mamak, had nasi lemak and roti telur then dragged ourselves back home. Believe it or not, we spent most of the rest of the day in bed, where mommy was reading Harry Potter 7 and daddy was playing Sim City on his spanking new Vaio laptop next to her. I got up a couple of times to do the laundry and daddy got up a couple of times to make lunch and get snacks and that was about it really. So there, a lazy Sunday before you came along, Mini-N. A most un-befitting type of Sunday to have when a baby comes along.

I suspect, people who reads this has so much to tell us, 1000 ways how our lives will be changed after the baby comes and 1000 things we're doing now that's bad example for the young. Yes, I know, we know... Which is why, I'm writing all these down as a memorabilia now, in case we never get to do this again for the rest of our lives. When you read this further along, Mini-N, you can tell us how we have changed (or have not changed) for the better, we hope.

Mini-N, your daddy can't wait for you to come. He told me he wants to fix up your crib already, just to stare at it. Speedy growth, Mini-N. Love you..

Starting Life the BIG way..

2007-07-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

Many people tell us that our lives will be drastically changed after you migrate from Womb world to Earth world. Although we're still laughing it off living in denial with those snickering remarks, "Hahaha!...How can? Baby only need to eat, sleep and bath what! No need so much work one lar!" Deep down inside, we fear that these couple of months will be our last days spent with our beloved Wii game console and the One Utama GSC cinema. So we decided to play Zelda one last time before we put it away for good.

Mommy's butt has officially grown from skateboard size to surfboard size. My tummy has also grown to the size of a large watermelon, not just any large watermelon but those that have been fed crazy with all sorts of fertilizer to make it look like a mutated LARGE watermelon. And you're only 22 weeks. No kidding, man. When i tell my friends or colleagues that i am only 22 weeks, they stare at my tummy for a while before they suddenly break eye contact and then with a slightly embarrassed look, they go.. "Hehehe.. I think is because of the mat salleh genes lar..hehehe.."..

Looking at my huge middle sometimes, mommy and daddy wonder if it is actually used to store extra food more than storing you. We suspect it's the former. In the last visit, Dr Tang helped us confirm this. She came into the room when I was already lying comfortably on the check-up bed.. Her first reaction when she saw me was an exclaim, "Wah.., very big ah"... Then she laughed a bit and walked over to me... (What's so funny?!)

So she decided to put things right.. "Only THIS part is the baby, you know." She used her hand to draw a small circle underneath my belly button.

"THIS part is not the baby." Her hand gestured at the area around the rest of my tummy. Gee.. thanks for the precise information. Narrrling gave me this wide-eyed woman-what-have-you-been-eating look..

You were highly active during the ultrasound session. We have it on video, you were moving your hands and legs about a lot. Dr. Tang was just a bit short of calling you a naughty boy. Then you know what? She told us that you are oversized too. Like mother, like son, huh.... At 20 weeks, you are the size of a 22 weeks baby. It's not that you're fat or anything but your growth, size of your skull, femur and all were the length and size of a 22 week baby. You are about 130 grams heavier than you should be! Dr Tang said, "This is going to be potentially a very big baby. Babies grow exponentially. Now he is already 130 grams bigger. This probably equals to about 1kg bigger than normal babies during birth"

My gawd.. 1kg bigger! You are going to be the giant nation representative in the infant care unit during birth.. There are the cutesy little infants next to you and there's you the O-Big/Great-One.... I must prep daddy ready with all his equipments to come film you together with the rest of your tiny friends in the ward.... but seriously, no joke man.. although I'm kinda big in size myself but it doesn't mean my special passage of pleasure/birth is roomy too, you know. I definitely NEED epidural, the life saviour of mankind.

Your Little Penis

2007-07-05T02:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Mini-N,

Alright, alright, let's sort this out once and for all. So you're a BOY after all.. Sorry for calling you a girl for the past month. Really, you can't blame us. Last month your wee wee was soooo small that Dr. Tang couldn't see it. She said, "Ah... ah.... ah...., cannot see any penis, so maaaaybe a girl lah!"

So luckily, your penis has grown a substantial size in the past month so that last weekend, when we visited Dr. Tang again, she said, "Ah, I was wrong! It's a boy! 100% a boy!" She was showing mommy and daddy your little penis. Honestly, I was still struggling and squinting to spot it. Dr. Tang was moving and scrolling and zooming the view on the screen until it came to this..

I exclaimed, "Wahh! This whole thing is his penis? SO BIG!"

Narrrling was just beginning to have that extremely proud look on his face when Dr. Tang cut in and said, "NO no no! That's his leg! This small thing on the left is his penis".

Oh, i seee.. So there you go, Mini-N, that's your little kuku at 20 weeks still in your mother's stomach. Don't worry about it, I'm sure it'll grow to its full adult size some day to make your daddy proud. Love you!

Daddy Felt You for the First Time

2007-07-05T01:50:00.000-07:00

This post was originally posted on Wednesday, June 27, 2007.

Dear Mini-M,

Your daddy felt you move for the first time last night and he was pretty darn proud of it. He felt you in the early evening after I came back from work and after a few hours, he still hasn't stopped talking about it. He would push his jaw out and cover his upper lip with his lower lip and say in the proudest tone with those smoky eyes, "I felt the baby move today, ok."

Yes, I think your daddy felt like he got a promotion last night, that he was finally able to feel your movements because for the last week, only your mommy could feel you moving inside. You should see the first time your daddy felt you. His eyes lit up with suprise, he sucked in a quick breath, he turned to look at me and stared at me for 3 seconds before he said, "I felt it!"

If I had a video cam then, I would record those moments and put them down as one of those moments that you'd like to remember for the rest of your lives.

For the last week, rather frequently your daddy would ask me, "What's the baby doing?"

And I would say, "Sleeping" ...

Then after an hour or two, daddy would ask again... "What's the baby doing?"...

I would say the same thing, "Sleeping"...

To that, sometimes your daddy will say, "So lazy".

You see, he is just waiting for some action so that he can try to feel you again on mommy's stomach and finally last night, he got his calling. Which is why, maybe last night was one of the most important nights for your daddy that for the first time, he started to feel your movements.

At the beginning...

2007-07-05T01:46:00.000-07:00

This post was originally posted on Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Dear Mini-M,

I am your mother. And through these pages, we will live your life together. This is my first letter to you and this is where you learn about yourself, your mommy and your daddy from the time you are 18 weeks still in your mommy's womb.

Mini-M, you're going to be one hell of a lucky girl, because your daddy is a real sap. He watches romance movies and at scenes where the hero and heroine stares into each other's eyes for the first time, he unconsciously shouts, "Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiiiiss her laaarrr!!".
At the end of each romance movie, he looks at mommy with those puppy man eyes and lets out a loong sigh and says, "Soooo nice".

Yeah, this is your daddy, the hopeless romantic. You will love him just as much as I do.

Some people say, babies start to kick in the womb when they're a little after 4 months. Unfortunately, I've yet to feel you. Your cousin Hailey has already started to kick last week in the womb at 5 months. I am still anticipating for the moment where I can feel your movements inside me for the first time. I wonder how it feels. I wonder.

I did a blood test recently to test if you're going to be a healthy girl. The doctor said they'll call in within 10 working days if something untoward comes back from the test results. So far it's been 7 days, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they never call.

Papa and Mama has been shopping for things for you recently. We have these great battles on which models and which design to choose. Your daddy likes ugly dark coloured wooden stuffs while I like white-ish, clean feeling stuffs. Your daddy wants white sheets and white beddings for you while I want colourful designs to avert your attention when you open your eyes to explore the world. I told daddy this is not about him but about you because I'm SURE you enjoy colourful beddings more than plain white ones. Your daddy's last line of defense is always, "Our kid will be like me, got European taste."...

To be honest, we're still not very sure if you're going to be a boy(Mini-N) or a girl(Mini-M). In our last visit, the doctor told us she can't see anything where your wee wee is, so maybe you're a girl. Same goes for cousin Hailey. The doctor couldn't see anything and therefore pronounced Hailey as a girl. I told my brother, in our next visit, by HOOK or by CROOK, we confirm the gender of both our babies. I'd hate to call you Mini-M when you're actually a Mini-N. You might be offended later in life.

It will be exciting for you, Mini-M. You'll be growing up with cousin Hailey who's about just a month older than you. Your grandpas and grandmas are practically squirming in their chairs everyday waiting for your arrival, getting excited chattering away in their own respective languages.. some in Hakka, some in Dutch...nothing in between..

Your daddy says you'll look like him for sure because he's the first born which means the sperm who represented him was sleek, fast and STRONG, no doubt a thoroughbred. Mommy rebuted that you'll look like me for sure because you know why? Mommy was unplanned, an accident. The sperm who represented mommy knew how to get to places, no doubt smart and will win the race anytime, anyday....

Speedy growth, Mini-M. Mommy needs to get back to 'pretend' working.

Introducing MiniNiko..

2006-07-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

This is yet another placeholder for Miki C's future son.. As for why Mininiko, you'll know why if you know Narrrling...